4. CONTROLLING JUDGES WITH HANDBALL

Municipal Courts are operated by the counties in California but, given the right circumstances, the Judges can be "controlled" by a triumvirate of a local Fire Chief, Police Chief, and City Manager.

How Public Buildings Get Built. The usual arrangement for the construction of court buildings in the 1950's thru the 1980's in Los Angeles County was for the host City to sponsor a "Joint Powers Authority" of the City and County, to build the structures and to pay debt service jointly in proportion to occupancy.

That is the way that a multi-building complex was built in Inglewood. That "Inglewood/Los Angeles County Civic Center" consisted of a massive combined Los Angeles County Office, Superior and Municipal Court Building, with Parking Structure, a County Health Building, and a City Hall, City Main Library, Police Building and Jail, Emergency Operating Center, Parking Structure, and a new Central Fire Station. The latter contained a large and well-appointed handball court. The complex contained and was connected by all sorts of walkways, landscaped parks and areas connecting the entire $100 million project.

The new Central Fire Station was located directly across the street from the County Building and, more specifically, directly adjacent to the six Municipal Courtrooms.

A Handball Playing Judge. The Presiding Municipal Judge was a former Assistant City Attorney, who also happened to be a "health nut" and a highly proficient and competitive handball player.

Immediately after settling down in their new quarters and courtrooms, the Presiding Municipal Court Judge, who also was a really nice guy and excellent Judge, conversationally mentioned to the Fire Chief that it would "nice" were he to be able to use the handball court in the Fire Station on occasion. The Fire Chief also just mentioned the conversation to the Police Chief who, in turn, only incidentally mentioned the oblique request to me.

A Great Idea. An idea immediately occurred to me, so I called the Fire Chief and set up a meeting with him, the Police Chief, City Attorney and myself. I sprung the idea to the group:

"The handball court was built into the Fire Station so that the personnel of both of the Fire and Police Departments could have such a physical conditioning facility immediately available to them. And they do, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

"What would your reaction be were we to release two and a half hours per day each weekday, excluding holidays, for the use of the Municipal Court Judges?"

The response was quick and unanimous as being "A great idea". They all immediately sensed the implications of the move.

The discussion then immediately veered off into the areas of bail and fine schedules, of which the City then received 80% as revenue.

Also discussed were parking ticket waivers, preferred parking within the County Parking Structure, which essentially was controlled by the Presiding Judge, and other various matters on which the City relied on the "understanding" of these six Judges. The more we talked the more an idea formed. So an unholy deal was struck.

Giving Up 1.3% of Play Time. We didn't know how many of the Judges played handball, but we also knew that permitting them to preempt reservations at the Handball Court from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., or a potential of only about 112 hours per year, or less than 1.3% of the 8,760 hours the facility was available, was a very small price to pay for the "good will" of the six Judges.

So the Fire Chief was both authorized and delegated to "break the news" to the Presiding Judge, with their being no quid pro quo in the deal -- just "good will".

A Totally Positive Atmosphere. Needless to say, the City never ever during the more than six years remaining in my tenure as City Manager had any problem with the constitutionally, legally and financially separate Municipal Courts or its Judges. For it turned out that all six Judges then assigned fell close to the nomenclature of "handball nuts". We all supposed that the little ball which they slammed around so hard represented all the frustrations of having to serve at the lowest level of the judicial branch, in which the case load was both severe and boring, and mainly consisted of a constant viewing of the underside of society.

And we always had the highest revenue producing Court system of any City within Los Angeles County and most of California. For, you see, the Judges "understood" the City's "needs".

© copyright by Douglas W. Ayres 1999

Back to The Joke Book