JUST BUILD IT!

The City Council was divided into four geographic districts, with each serving four years, therefore leading to biennial elections. One Council member was soon facing his first re-election campaign.

We Got Money. The Council member knew that the City government had money. He said that I could "make money come out of rocks".

Over my several years at the City I had more or less informally worked out an understanding with the Council members that prior to each of their elections I would budget heavily for construction and improvement projects in their Districts, such that they could announce and take credit for these "wonderful things happening in their District".

But, in exchange, in the in-between "off" election years, I would budget projects for the overall good of the City, without any consideration being given to Council districts and Council members.

A "System" Evolved. The informal "system" worked, so long as the project requests of the individual Council members up for re-election made any modicum of sense. That part of the "understanding" also was well comprehended by my elected bosses, and complied with. I even got to nominate some of their projects, based on the input from Department heads and their subordinate supervisory staff.

Then the "system" almost broke down.

In this one Councilman's district there was a quite politically active constituent who, being very hard of hearing, constantly, in a loud voice, "bugged" the Councilman about a particular "need" of his.

The "Need". It seems that on the street on which both the loud constituent and the Councilman lived a mid-block area had developed wherein the surface of the street adjacent to the curb, for about 25 feet, was perhaps two inches lower than the remainder of the street. So, when it rained, a 2" deep x 25' long x 5' wide "birdbath" would develop. The design and construction of the street was such that re- paving that area alone wouldn't solve this "problem" and meet the loud constituent's "need" to walk across his street at all times with totally dry feet. He simply couldn't be expected to tip toe through the 5' wide 2" deep puddle, which would be dried out tomorrow.

The Demand Continues. The drumbeat of a person badgering his district Council member to "solve this drainage problem" continued.

Finally, at the limits of both his patience and his tolerance of the old man, the Councilman came to me. For the first time I saw some degree of humility in him; some glimmer of hope that there was a piece of an understanding human being under that teflon exterior.

He begged and cajoled me to "do something to get George off my back -- do `something' about his drainage problem!"

An Expensive, but Reasonable Solution. The expenditure of public monies often is motivated by the weirdest of motives, not the least of which is to provide "grease" to the proverbial "squeaky wheel". In this case the "squeak" was a loud old man who berated a Council member. No one else, and certainly not the City's Streets Division, had requested that a storm drain be constructed to alleviate this "problem".

But that was the least expensive solution. It would have cost quite a bit more than the $35,000 necessary to build a 150' storm drain, to resurface the street to eliminate the "bird bath".

A "Deal" is Cut. I know a desperate Council member when I see one. He knew that George, his noisy neighbor, would canvass the neighborhood opposing his re-election for "being non-responsive to public needs" were the Councilman not to deliver on the storm drain. That the project was both unnecessary and almost literally a waste of public monies was immaterial. George harped and the Councilman was needy. And I wanted some retribution for all the nastiness he had caused many on staff his first three years in office.

So we cut a deal. I could pick all the construction and improvement projects in his district this budget year were I to add "George's storm drain". The understood "system" required that virtually all the City's such budgeted monies be expended within the districts of the two Council members who were up for re-election.

The "System" Preserved. Thus the understanding was preserved and, for an almost literal "bribe" of a $35,000 storm drainage project, the Council member secured the non-opposition of a nasty old man, got his usual allocation of beneficial projects which he could announce during his re-election campaign and even see being built before Election Day and, in the process, partially rehabilitate himself with City staff.

© copyright by Douglas W. Ayres 2002

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